i haven't wanted to come back here for a long time. so much has been going on with us personally that it's felt wrong to try and come in here and make it all even more complicated by putting too many feelings into it. this was always a place where i could come and vent or try to motivate myself by reading what you have to say. cause most of you are far more inspiring than even you are ever going to know. but to be quite honest, there are some seasons in life where you don't even want to feel inspired. it's just sad and it feels almost better that way. then, on the other hand, there are some people here who have no intention of being supportive. there are some of you who'd rather search until you find something you can pull apart. and in a time where our band is seeming most vulnerable, you flourish. i'm not really sure anymore if this is a place where our band is supported or just speculated upon. the funny part is, this is the place - the group of people - who i talk about most when i talk to friends about Paramore. or when someone asks me about our fans. 99.9% of the time, you guys are the ones that i think about when i think about playing shows, or traveling the world. maybe it's just because some of you have been with us since day #1. and even though some of the negative stuff here makes me wanna throw a child over a waterfall (ok, that's harsh), the positive stuff USUALLY trumps all of that. i'm not saying i don't have bad days. i do let some of you here get to me. but hey, that's pretty human, i think.
okay, so here we are.
what a world we live in... i mean, damn! i thought for a second i was going to have to hang myself in the public square downtown! kidding. duh. but really, have you all seen Easy A? first of all, what a great movie. but second, so relatable. not in a sense that we are all lying about losing our v-cards and then making money off of it and somehow having fake chlamydia. no, i mostly mean the fact that we ALL know how quickly rumors can spread. i feel so sorry for our generation when i watch movies like ferris bueller's day off - a payphone in the school?! really?! come on. with the internet, the whole world is just playing one huge game of telephone. i've STILL got folks asking me why Paramore is breaking up. it's sort of laughable at this point. i can't just keep answering those questions, right? you can't prove hardly anything to anyone. you just have to show them. actions > words. it will always be that way.
but speaking of us not going anywhere. i need to say thank you. for all three of us. taylor and jeremy and i literally can't believe how much support we've gotten. you can't imagine how motivating it is. we have so many things to look forward to this year. some of which we can't even hint at cause it would totally jinx it. but we can talk about writing, right? (yes)
we've got 2 songs in the works thus far! they are rockin. taylor is doing such an awesome job with the demos. jeremy and i have yet to go over and see his home studio... i think i'm gonna do that later today. it's just crazy that we are already getting into this process. i'm not sure if this is the exact process that will lead us to make a record but it will certain lead us to releasing songs in some way. in either case, it's bringing all of us closer together. i've never felt like this in our band before. that's weird and sad to be honest about; and it's all i want to say about that.
the three of us are trying to be creative about how we can get involved more with you guys. sort of a means of "putting down roots" all over again. with that, we want to be more interactive with the fan club - especially since there are not a whole lot of tour dates booked. but that's just one of the things we'd like to "fix". again, actions > words. we have a lot to do!
hope this wasn't too sappy, or too anything. it's been a while since i've been here, i might be a little rusty. i can't promise that i'll come in all the time like i used to. but i do promise that we notice the people here who are still trying to make this place somewhere that people can come in and feel supported. we appreciate you.
miss the road and seeing your faces in person.
ps. oh! there is something that i did want to clear up that never got cleared up before. the "statement letter" posted on .net from the band, was actually written by all of us. over the phone. it wasn't just me. phew! that feels good to say.